please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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