I hate all girls vehemently.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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