her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
