Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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