Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
