Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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