whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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