apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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