I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
