So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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