i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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