I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
