the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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