So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
