One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
