I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
