I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
