This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
