Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
