apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
