Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
NoShamevember. You game?
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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