Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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