enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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