My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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