Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
