i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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