Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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