that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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