cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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