This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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