Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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