Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
