Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
