my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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