So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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