You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
