I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize