Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
ugly people sure do ruin things
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
