Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
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