so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
