Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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