Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
