Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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