Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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