Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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