At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
