Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
