it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
