hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize