We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
