im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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