You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
