HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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