Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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