I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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