the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
she pinky promised me she was 18
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
