Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
