its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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